As someone who has been on the receiving end, here are some mistakes that have made me hit “delete” or, in the worst cases, “block” on my online dating messages.1.
Sounding generic The way to a woman’s heart is making her feel worthy of the same message you’ve sent a dozen other women, right?
” or “Did he not think it was worth his time to read my profile? And please, dear lord, do not actually copy and paste your messages.
While you may think it looks like you’ve typed “Hey, how’s it going” or even “You seem really down to earth,” we can tell all you’ve actually typed is “Control C” and “Control V.” Even if we can’t, you're at some point bound to send your template to the same person twice and get caught like the unfortunate fellow below — or worse, you’ll send your supposedly individualized message to two women who know each other, like the guy who asked my roommate and I both if we were Brazilian. back up, users who write "sexy," "beautiful," "hot," or "cutie" in their initial messages have a below-average response rate.
Focusing on appearance from the get-go can make us wonder if we have anything substantive to connect over. Apologizing Trust me, I know what it’s like to send a message when you’re already picturing the recipient sighing in exasperation upon opening it, insulted that you would even imply you were in the same league. Starting a debate Remember the saying about how you shouldn't talk about politics or religion with strangers at dinner parties? Okay, maybe you’re exempt from this rule if someone broadcasts her views on her profile and you happen to agree with them, but expressing disagreement will only make her defensive.
But I never even considered that apologetic users like this one were inferior to me until they informed me of their own inferiority. After all, arguing before you’ve even had a date doesn’t bode well for the rest of the relationship.
Okay, so here are some example online dating messages that you can use.
Remember, you need to tweak these to the girls profile. - Use this when you want to add a something unique to your first message. I'm just your average guy Who's looking for a chance Will you accept this message Like it's our first dance?
They want to know that you read their profile (given that it's more than a few sentences long) ... Hello My name is [Name] and your profile has caught my attention. Just kidding :) I actually noticed we had some things in common - I really enjoy [Movies, the outdoors, sports, reading]. Roses are red Violets are blue I saw you online Then I messaged you Where do we start? Things might go well Or maybe I fail It wouldn't much matter If I was with youall would be well - Send this when the girl already has kids.
so point out a few things that they mention that you have in common. The first thing I noticed was your [Smile, photos, profile, eyes]. When I'm not with family or working, I enjoy [watching movies, listening to music, working out] too. I suggest only contacting girls with kids if you have a job or income, typically they are already dealing with a broke daddy.
If my photos pass the creep test check out my profile. Hi, my name is [Name], I wanted to start off by saying that you have a beautiful family.
I'd like to know your thoughts on [Interest in her profile .... I know how busy you must be, so I will keep this short, but I noticed we had some things in common, I've been [listening to the same music she likes, watched a TV show she likes, working out ... Family comes first, but I wanted to know what you enjoy doing if you'd have time to relax by yourself?
OKCupid's data shows that men receive replies to about 20-50% of their online dating messages, depending on their attractiveness — and I'm going to go out on a limb and say most would like to move that number up to 100%.